Max's Ride
by Renndude
Summary: Max plus Flock plus School equals A whole lot of trouble and gags. Wings included.
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N] This is more of a fun side project for me, in case I get bored with my current stories (which I do a lot) Mainly just for laughs, rated T for swearing. Don't expect fast updates.**

'NO WAY IN HELL. In fact, there isn't even a way in heaven that I'm ever going to agree to this.'

'Max,' Jeb tried his sweet tone to try and coax me into at least considering the idea, but I could hear the underlining exasperation barely masked by his words.

'Don't you Max me, Jeb. I am the flock leader and I make the decisions here. We are not going to school, and that is _final._'

Jeb's shoulders sagged in exhaustion. 'You haven't even considered-'

'I am not considering-'

'-the rest of the flock's opinion on this.' Jeb finished, wearily slumping on the new couch. In our new house.

See, the flock and I decided that going public for the CSM and doing air shows or speeches just gotten way too risky as of late. Eraser attacks became annoyingly common, even with the 'beefed up' security, and after some close calls and a few flock meetings, we moved to a new house in a small town in Paradise (the irony), Ohio, to lay low.

As for our current argument, Jeb the _brilliant_ dad came up with this amazingly _retarded_ idea to go to school. I mean seriously, after working so many years for huge companies like Itex and the CSM as the head honcho, you'd think he'd have enough smarts to know that this was a terrible idea. School definitely not the way to lay low. At all. It won't be more than a week till our cover is blown and we have to move. Again.

I crossed my arms and looked towards the rest of the people in the room, specifically my flock, and dared them to challenge me. They should all know one thing about Maximum Ride, is that I have a _godly_ stubbornness. Sure, it has helped me through experiments and surgeries and getting through hordes of genetically mutated bad guys, but just messes up social situations. Like these.

Nudge shifted uneasily and stepped forward. I groaned inwardly, knowing she was going to try to persuade me to going. I braced myself for a whole lot of talking and possibly Bambi eyes.

'Y'know Max, maybe school isn't such a bad idea. I mean, we can learn to fit in better and be around other normal kids instead of being really withdrawn neighbours that don't ever show their faces, and it's just so boring at home with just the television and each other, not that I don't like your company but-'

'Nudge SHUT UP!' Iggy yelled. 'You're going to make me both blind _and_ deaf,' he grumbled.

'Look, Max. Would you rather stay here and listen to Nudge's unending blabber-'

Nudge shot him a death glare that was wasted on Iggy.

'-and burst your eardrums, or go to a harmless school?'

'It's tempting, but I'd pick Nudge.' I replied, still not relenting.

'OK, WHOEVER WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL SAY AYE!' screamed Nudge, impatient. We all glared at her, but she ignored us.

'Aye!' (Nudge)

'Aye!' (Angle)

'BURP! That's Ignese for aye!' (You can probably guess where that came from)

'Aye! Nice one Ig!' (Gazzy)

'Aye!'

I raised my eyebrow.

'Total, you can't even go to school. You a freaking dog with wings.'

'Excuse me, I prefer Canine American,' he grumbled. 'And I can go to school!'

'Yeah, in Doggyland.' I retorted. I was annoyed at how many wanted to go to school. They should've known better by now. I was slightly grateful to Fang, who hadn't piped up yet, half because he was Fang, and because he was still backing me up.

'OK, NOW WHOEVER DOSEN'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL, SAY I SUCK!' Nudge yelled again. I glared at her. How could anyone scream that loudly in the evening?

'I do not wanna go to school,' I stated.

'I'm with Max,' said Fang smoothly.

'And since I'm the leader, my vote counts 5 times!' I yelled.

'Does not!'

'Does to!'

As me and Nudge engaged in a screaming match, Jeb stepped up again.

'Max! This isn't for you to choose.'

'Oh yeah?' I growled with a tone so cold it would make lesser men flinch. But Jeb was probably already used to it.

'I've already enrolled you. All of you.'

The silence that ensued could be cut with a knife. I was the first to react.

'YOU WHAT!?'

I was about to tackle Jeb with the imaginary knife used to cut the silence when Fang leapt up to restrain me.

'Max.' He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around so I was facing him. Then he leaned forward so I could practically feel his breath on my face. I stared at him, still not willing to go along with the idea.

'Look, we'll just try it out for a couple of weeks okay? I'm sure nothing would go wrong. We can always move again.'

'Nothing will go wrong?' I snorted.

'Since when did that ever happen in my life?'

Fang sighed, his breath tickling my face.

'I'll make sure nothing goes wrong, okay? Trust me.'

I finally relented. 'Fine. Shove off, your breath stinks.' I added the last sentence to show that I was still not entirely convinced that this'll work out. Fang moved away from me, returning to his position in the corner.

'Aaaaaaand Fang's charm works again!' Iggy drawled, slapping Fang on the back. I dared him to go on with a glare, but the blind boy didn't seem to get the message.

'Dude, you have to tell me your secret. Is it your deep, bottomless eyes? Is it your sexy body? Oh, I know1 It must be your _sultry_ voi-'

I tackled the bird kid, slamming him down on the floor and intent on beating the crap out of him. Raising my fist, I threw it into his stomach. Man, that dude has really hard abs. But I wasn't gonna relent.

'YOU'

SMASH

'DID'

SMASH

'NOT'

SMASH

'JUST SAY THAT.'

DOUBLE WHAMMY

**K.O.**

**Max: 1**

**Asshole of a bird kid: 0**

Fang once again pulled me from completely murdering Iggy's ass, and I humphed in victory. By this time, Jeb was ready to snap.

'Alright, all of you, to bed now. School starts tomorrow at 6.'

I stormed to my room, leaving a half dead bird kid and a stunned flock behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N] I swear my documents are being mysteriously deleted. My computer hates me.**

'Max.'

I felt the warm blankets of sleep being tugged away from me (metaphorically, of course).

'Maaaax.'

I rolled over, burying my face in the soft covers to try and block out the noise.

'MAX!' The sheets were ungraciously ripped from my grasp.

'Hu-wha? AHHH!' My eyes snapped open as I felt myself fall graciously with a loud thump onto the rough ground.

'OW! DAMMIT WHO THE FU-'

'Max!'

My sleep deprived brain finally chose the time to realize that the voice belonged to my mom, Dr. Valencia Martinez.

'Oh! Um, hey mom, why are you in my room at 5 in the morning?' I questioned, glancing at my bedside clock and trying to find out what the hell was going on. Dr. M rolled her eyes as I frantically tried to untangle myself from the clump of blankets that accompanied me in my gracious fall.

'Max, there's school today, remember? Get up.'

'Can't you see I'm trying?' I snapped grumpily as I slipped once again and fell back into the whirlpool of fluffiness. Jeez, these blankets are way too thick. Dr. M gave me a hand up, which I grudgingly accepted before stumbling into my bathroom to change into some clothes. Wait. What do you wear to school?

I thought for a moment, then just threw on some random jeans hanging from the closet and a Superman T-shirt, grabbing a black hoodie on my way downstairs. I didn't even bother to comb my unruly mop of hair as I struggled to put the hoodie on while walking down the stairs

Being me, I tripped once again and crashed instead of walked into the kitchen. Ow. That's three falls already, and it wasn't even 10 minutes. I can tell today was gonna be a great day.

'Look who's up and awake? Max the Great makes another grand entrance!' hooted Iggy from the stove. I scowled at him and walked to the table, stomach growling loudly as I plonked myself next to Fang, who was dressed in a, yep, you guessed it, black shirt and pants with a grey jacket. Sheez. That guy really needs more color in his closet.

Iggy flipped the pancakes he was frying. The hissing sound of it cooking and the smell of bacon wafting through the air was intoxicating. I grabbed a plate and started piling it up with waffles, pancakes, bacon and toast along with a cup of precariously balanced orange juice to top it all off.

The others were already starting on their seconds by the time I sat down to eat. Inhaling the food, I joined them. The great thing about not living on the run was that we had tons of food that didn't come from a dumpster or wasn't stepped on by some random person on the ground. Nope, these bacon and waffles were prime from Iggy's kitchen. Yum.

Dr. M came joined us, along with an excited Ella.

'Max! Hurry up already! We gotta go!' she said, way too preppy in the morning for my taste.

'Yeah Max,' Iggy joked, 'Don't wanna be late for your first day at school now would we?'

I rolled my eyes at him and cleared up the food, zipped up my hoodie and hitched the backpack. Then I exhaled slowly. It was still hard to believe we were trying out school again. Memories of the other schools we've went to flashed in my mind. Neither of them had very happy outcomes. I was spared the choice of just ditching the plan entirely and making a run for it when Nudge took my hand, dragging me out. And just like that, we were on our way to school.

Fantastic.

_**THIS IS A FRIGGIN LINE I REPEAT, THIS IS A LINE**_

I'd like to say I didn't completely freak out and have a panic attack right after we entered the school. But I can't. Because I did.

Standing there, in the white washed halls blazing with the fluorescent lights, it reminded me waaaay too much of the School than I would've liked. Also, the narrow hallways were jam-packed with teenagers, all milling about aimlessly or rifling through their lockers or making out in random places. Hello, claustrophobia. Welcome back into my life. I was wondering where you've been.

I swear, the universe hates me.

I realized I was gripping Fang's hand so tightly that all his circulation must've been cut off, but I couldn't bear to let go. I was hyperventilating, and probably just standing there like a white-faced idiot. Aw crap. Remind me why I'm here again?

_Because we need to blend in Max._

I jumped and managed to shakily glare at Angel. Like I wasn't scared enough. Wait. Me, Maximium Ride, capable of kicking a billion of Eraser's butts without blinking an eyelid, who was experimented on by crazy scientists, who had_ wings_, was scared. Of a freaking harmless, ordinary, day-to-day _school._ My brain is seriously messed up.

Fang slowly eased my hand off his, and grasped it in a firm grip. I probably gave him nail marks from the way I was holding it.

'Max,' he said, in his deep calming voice. 'Max, look at me.'

I raised my eyes up into his solid black ones, trembling uncontrollably.

'It'll be okay, alright? I'm not gonna leave you. The flock is still here, nothing bad has happened. It'll be fine, I promise. Trust me?'

He said the last part in a question. Do I trust him? Hmmmm… Fang was always there for me, like a solid rock in my life. Even acts like one sometimes. Well, all the time. But, between the whole flock, Fang was the one I trusted most, second to myself, of course. I took a deep breath, narrowed my eyes, and dragged him into the swirling mass of bodies, determined not to let school get in my way.

Fang smiled his famous smile, and followed, the rest of the flock on his heels.

_**YEAP, YOU GUESSED IT, ANOTHER LINE**_

After accidentally walking in into three wrong classrooms, (which was incredibly awkward), taken two trips to the toilets (request by Angel), and having to suck it up and go ask a teacher-on-patrol where the heck our classroom was, you can imagine I was pretty pissed by the time everyone had settled into their respective classrooms. Apparently this school catered to students from kindergarten all the way to college, so we would still be in the same building if say, an Eraser attack or an explosion. I guess that was a good thing.

I stormed into the classroom with Fang and Iggy. We had completely identical classes (because I refused to attend if this wasn't the case) and plonked ourselves into the furthest seats at the corner. The teacher raised an eyebrow at us.

I was stared at her. She didn't seem too menacing, although she was looking at us as if we had wings. I felt my back, but they were still securely tucked into my back. What did we do wrong? What did she want? Why was she looking at me in that manner? I had a horrible thought that maybe she would morph into a bird kid eating wolf hybrid, but her body looked to frail for that.

'Aren't you lovelies going to introduce yourselves?'

I pretended to gag in front of Fang and Iggy, and they both cracked smiles. Lovelies? Wait till she sees me kick some butt. No one has _ever_ called me a lovely, except maybe Ari. But that was when he was trying to kill me. The teacher was looking at us with a genuinely confused look, probably waiting for our introduction. So I obliged.

'Um, hi. I'm uh…'

_Ohcrapohcrapohcrap What were our names what were our names? _Jeb had probably told me this morning in the car, but I had been so out of it that I completely forgot. I desperately racked my brain and instead of remembering the names like a good little brain should, it just gave me a pounding headache. Luckily, I was saved by Fang.

'I'm Felix, this is Ian and she's Flora,' pointing to himself, Iggy and me respectively. I scrunched up my nose at my alias. Seriously Jeb? Flora? It sounded so…girly. I mean, a mad scientist who named his creation Maximum Ride should've been able to come up with a better name that actually suited my personality.

'How nice. How about you give a little intro to yourselves? Where were you from? What are your hobbies? What do you do in your free time?'

Seriously? A name wasn't enough? She was basically asking us to tell our life story. And its pretty freaking long, I'd tell ya. The teacher, Mrs Jonas, I read from her nametag, gestured at me to speak first.

'Um, we were from…Arizona (_actually, we were from a crazy science lab that wants to take over the world)_ and my hobbies are…uh…' _COME ON MAX THINK OF SOMETHING_ My head was officially going to die by headache so I said the first thing that rolled off my mind without stopping to think about it.

'Cooking.'

Iggy snorted, trying to bite back giggles. I whacked him on the arm. Hard.

'Ow! Yeah, she's _reeeeaally _good at it as well. You should try it sometime. Just cross your fingers and pray to god that you don't die of food poisioning.' He snickered. Even Fang was beginning to smile. I huffed in annoyance and crossed my arms, trying to look believable when inside I was freaking out from what I'd just said. Cooking, Max? Are you for real? Course not.

Okay, what was the last question again? What I do during my free time? Well, nothing much, just save the freaking world and beating the crap out of anyone that tries to stop me. Oh, and also occasionally going out on casual night flights with my Flock.

'During free time…I….um…cook.' I did a mental faceplam. _SERIOOUSLY MAXIMUM RIDE IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK OF? COOKING? _Damn, I really needed to start taking lessons on lying.

This time Iggy lost it. He doubled over in silent laughter, shaking with his arms over his stomach. Mrs Jones was starting to look kinda worried, like Ig was having an asthma attack or something. I slapped him on the back. 'Okay, your turn, _Ian_.' I was practically trembling in rage at both myself and Iggy. Fang grinned one of his rare grins at me, and patted Iggy on the back.

'Calm down dude. You look like you're having a seizure. And Ma- Flora makes a mean peanut butter and jelly, if nothing else.'

Iggy wiped his eyes and straightened up again. I felt like punching that stupid grin off his face so bad, it took Maximum (get it?) self-control.

'Well, Mrs Jones-'

'Jonas' she corrected.

'Well alrighty then Jonas,' continued Iggy, ignoring the teachers look at being called by her last name. 'I'm princess Flora's bro, so I came from Arizona too. And I'm also blind BTW. My hobbies are-'

'Playing a fool, being annoying and making me irritated to no end?' I cut in.

'Actually sweetie, irritating you comes first.' He bowed dramatically. 'My princess.'

I was about to go full out rage mode on him when Fang grasped my hand and rubbed circles in my tense spot. I slowly relaxed at his calm voice.

'I'm also a brother, I like playing the guitar and I check my blog during my free time,' said Fang quietly. About all the girls in the room sighed and looked at him dreamily. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Fang was really being honest. Although they probably didn't know that his blog has millions of readers on it. Waaaaaaaait. HOLD IT SISTER. _I'm also a brother?!_

Fang.

My bro.

Lets say it together now everybody. AAAAAWKWARD.

I tell you who arranged this. Jeb. That sonofabith. I bet he just did this to completely piss me off. He totally knew me and Fang were dating. But he had to enroll us as siblings. We don't even look alike.

'Ok then,' said Mrs Jonas, still looking at Iggy funny. 'You all may sit down. Students, I want you all to treat the new kids nicely.'

Iggy snorted and leaned to whisper in my ear.

'Yeah, be nice to the new kids. You never know if they one day they grow wings and kick your butts.'

I snickered as well and we sat down comfortably back in our seats. Y'know, maybe school wasn't that bad. If the flock was included.

**Well that was a really weird chapter. But its fun to write. I am supposedly studying in my room right now but what can I say? REBEL AT HEART.**

**PEACE**

**-Renndude **** I love my username**


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